One of the big things I hear the Artists, Creatives and Entrepreneurs I coach dealing with has to do with them “going it alone” and various versions of “I don’t have any support from the people in my life”. Now, I know that some of you may have found amazing support in those you love and in the environment you are in … please know you are more the exception and celebrate that big time!! For the rest of you, who know that you have heard yourself think those things before … read on.
I listen while my clients talk about dealing with the lack of support they get from their loved ones: Parents and family who disapprove of their dreams or think they are “crazy” to pursue what they are passionate about (we all know that speech, right? … “Great hobbie but not a way to make a living …”), Significant others who just don’t understand it or are sacred because there is no “stability”, friends who shake their heads and ask when they are going to get a “real job”, etc.
For the most part … love has nothing to do with the support that you may need. Let’s get it real … love is love … support is support … they definitely can co-exist but they are two separate things!!! As a matter of a fact many times those that love us THINK they are supporting us by telling us to drop it all and go in another direction … a more “normal” or “common” route.
Not only that … many of us even fell for it somewhere along the way … we dropped our creativity, our art, our passion to build or invent something (whether it was a product or service or businesses) because it seemed like it would be easier (and well … everyone who loved us told us it would be). THEN … there we were … trying to fit into the “normal mold”, trotting down the “normal” path and discovering ourselves either miserable or with this nagging emptiness in us because we weren’t fulfilled with what we were doing … something was missing … we were being called back to our dreams.
Bottom line: 1) Let the people who love you just love you … appreciate that from them … they are loving you the only way they know how … be grateful for their love no matter how it doesn’t fit your image of how it “should” be, and 2) Go find support!!!
I am so grateful for the support I have had and now have in my life … AND I had to go out and create that! I stopped expecting it to come from those I loved. I found like minded people, I joined organizations that respected my “craziness” of wanting to be an artist and an entrepreneur, I partnered up with people to work on projects so I didn’t have to go it alone, I hired many coaches along the way who were always in my court and as hungry for me to win as I was. I was a demand on myself to get support and to not have to do it alone and I created it for myself WITH supportive people.
Funny … one of the most beautiful memories of my life was a conversation my mother had with me, shortly before she went onto her next adventure, when she told me she was proud of me because I had followed my passion no matter what anyone said to me. (NOTE: this was my mother who loved me dearly and whose way of loving me earlier in life was to tell me I was a “freak” because I insisted on “making my life hard” by following my passions vs. taking the “normal” route). Those people you love who you sooooooooo want support from might come around someday … BUT … in the meantime, stop expecting it from them and go create support for yourself … you deserve it now!
(O & Thank YOU, Tina … one of my Diva inspirations … she was 69 years old when she did this concert in 2009 … she is now 75 & I bet she is still Following her Passions no matter what anyone says!!)